If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
3pm strippers are depressing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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