Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
