Where is the hickey?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
