i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
