i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
