so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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