so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
