oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
