I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
