She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
