so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
