I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
