My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
it hurts more in the daytime
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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