I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
