absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
