i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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