ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
