I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
