I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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