Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
