would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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