"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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