why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
