felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
