is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
