I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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