I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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