went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
