my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
