So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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