how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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