you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
