He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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