Where did you get a picture of my penis
only if we run a train.
done.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
