I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
