i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I love you. Go after that dick
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
