I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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