apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
