He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
