I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
