I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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