sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
