Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
