his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
