p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ttyl tear gas
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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