Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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