ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
