his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
