I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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