I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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