I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
