Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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